MENTAL HEALTH pair silver and one pair gold. The advice holds. Technology makes relationship building more convenient and accessible (Slack, Whats App, traditional text messages, newsletters, social media, and so forth), but technology cannot create the effort, the execution, and the followthrough. There has to be a genuine desire and a willingness to prioritize strengthening relationships. It is not always convenient. That’s the work, but that’s also the value. I find that fear is often the underpinning of every inaction. In terms of relationships — professional and otherwise — there is the fear of being rejected in some way. This fear isn’t predicated on someone’s age or status. The good news is we can let that fear go. It’s a universal truth that we are not going to be for everyone, and everyone is not going to be for us. It’s natural and it is okay. Seek your people. My friend Sarah-Elizabeth often says, “Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.” She’s right. Dig and cultivate your relationship energy where it will be received. I believe in planting where the soil is rich. Then, when you find your people — professionally and otherwise — let them know that they are valued by action and words. Relationships that are not mutually uplifting aren’t sustainable…nor should they be. If you are not operating from a spirit of abundance within your community — the relationship you may want to spend more time on right now is your relationship with yourself because the scarcity mentality won’t serve you, and it won’t serve others. The next key word is service. Being of service to others and those you are seeking to build relationships with is the universal, “I see you. I respect you. And I am not just a leech” language. Some relationships are transactional and that’s fine if that’s the agreement, but make certain you are all in on the nature of the relationship. Transactional does not decimate the obligation for service either. You still must show up and transact with a spirit of abundance. Relationships require mutuality in all facets —mutual respect, mutual willingness to show up, mutual goals, and in a perfect scenario, a mutual ethos. Like anything meaningful and of value, strong relationships require work and effort. They don’t build themselves. How have you intentionally built inclusiveness into your circles? Cook: I am stating the obvious, but I am a Black woman. Inclusiveness as it relates to some buckets is fairly easy for me to achieve, but I recognize that we all have our silos. I am fortunate to have built communities that reflect the world as it truly exists and not a fragment of the world. I believe that the first effort has to stem from broadening your immediate core group. Six degrees of separation, as silly as it can seem, is a fairly decent assessment. If your immediate contacts all look like you — same geographic proximity, ideology, religion, abilities, access, language — that’s something to note, and expanding the exposure to new communities is a part of the inclusion equation. I have been fortunate to have friends and colleagues who were fearless in their leadership and calling out when inclusion efforts have fallen short — including my own. I learned from them and am still learning. The intention is also selfish to a certain extent. I am a better leader and professional because of what I learn from individuals who see the world from a different lens. Iron sharpens iron. n Susan McPherson is a serial connector, seasoned communicator, and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a communications consultancy focused on the intersection of brands and social impact. SUMMER 2022 / REAL-LEADERS.COM 83 “If your immediate contacts all look like you — same geographic proximity, ideology, religion, abilities, access, language — that’s something to note, and expanding the exposure to new communities is a part of the inclusion equation.” — CANDICE S. COOK
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